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Proud Abba November 12, 2007

Posted by amybeth in God.

As some of you know and some of you don’t, I am leading my church’s youth group this year. Some time back, we heard about a 48 hr worship event being held at a local house of prayer during the Halloween season – a standing for light in the midst of darkness. The youth expressed interest in attending just to see what was going on. While the director has asked if our youth band would be willing to take a 2 hour slot and play, I didn’t think we were ready yet. At that stage we’d only had about 2 practices and knew a grand total of 3 songs.The week before the event I discovered that most of the youth had made other plans and wouldn’t be coming after all, but I did have four who were still interested, three of whom were musicians. After contacting the director and discovering that she remained unsuccessful in getting another band to cover the time slot that we were planning on attending, I proposed to one of the youth who was planning on coming with me that perhaps the three of them could play. They had jammed together outside of youth and I thought that just possibly, they could make a go of it. He actually got quite excited and booked off work to make it happen.

On the actual night of, I had two more of the youth who hadn’t planned on coming before show up. The one young man I had spoken to picked a bunch of songs he thought they might be able to play on the spot…and we were on! It was an interesting night…as I told the youth themselves, we had some absolutely awful moments when nothing sounded right, but we also had some incredible moments where everything seemed to come together despite our lack of preparation.

But the point of this story is the huge grin I couldn’t seem to wipe from my face the whole night. Literally…I felt like my smile was stretching of my face. I was so proud of them for stepping up to the plate and trying. It was a pretty scary thing to take responsibility for providing continuous worship for 2 hours when you’ve only practiced 3 songs as a group before. And they kept persevering even when the songs they tried didn’t work so well. They were just awesome!

A few days later as I was pondering on the experience, God dropped the thought in my head that that is how he feels about us when we try and keep persevering despite the odds. I know I’ve heard before that when you become a parent, many attributes of God as Father are opened up to you due to the parallel feelings you have towards your own children. I think in that moment, the youth became like my kids and I had a momentary glimpse of how proud Abba is of us.

This was profound for me because I’ve always struggled with how can God be proud of us, pleased with us, when he knows how much more we could be, when his final goal is so much beyond where we are now. Wouldn’t he get frustrated at times? Or maybe he’d have that kind of half grin/half grimace on his face like people do when they are experts in a field watching amateurs make bumbling attempts?

But that night, I discovered just how proud a person can be of another person or people despite their imperfections, despite not having yet reached their potential – very, very proud.

Then, to add to the story, a few days later I was driving to school listening to a CD that I’ve listened to thousands of times before. I had just recently made a very difficult decision about a direction I was headed. It was one of those decisions that was more than just the decision itself but felt like it was deeper down, the taking of a stand spiritually. Anyways, the words of this one song just leapt out at me and I started crying in the car because they’d touched something inside.

The singer was speaking as if from the perspective of God saying, “Angels, oh Angels look and see, through this dark night of faith she is trusting in me.”

It was the same thing…like God was saying to me ‘I’m proud of you…pleased as punch that you are choosing me even when you can’t see what’s going on. You don’t have to have it all figured out…just stand. And that’s enough to totally bowl me over with pride in my daughter.”

Wow, eh?



1. Sheepdog - November 13, 2007

That’s a double wow at least!

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